You might be a new mom if...

...while driving, you catch yourself doing a running commentary of all the sights you pass even though your baby is not in the car.

...you are the proud owner of "the mom" swimsuit (you know the one that has impossibly low-cut leg openings and does a remarkable job of both covering all your stretch marks and containing your enormous boobs)

...you've gone ahead an chopped your hair off to make things easier for yourself (a la Julia Roberts in Steel Magnolias)

...you find yourself purchasing bras in a size you didn't even know existed before baby.

...you know exactly what people are talking about when they say Robeez, Bumbo or Ergo.

...you don't think it's unreasonable for your building's quiet hours to start at 6:30 p.m.

...you catch yourself gently bouncing up and down in the grocery aisle before realizing your baby is at home with daddy.

...you can't remember the last time you got to watch prime time t.v., but know exactly what's on at 3 o'clock in the morning.

...you think it's perfectly normal to whip your boobs out in public.

...the barista at Starbucks knows to make your drink decaf even if you forget to specify.

...you can't remember the last time you slept through the night.

...you rate restaurants not on the quality of their food, but on the quality of their baby changing facilities.

...you can't go a day without discussing - sometimes at length - pooh.

Got other entries to add to the list...post a comment please!

There's music, there's music, there's music in the air

The title of today's blog entry is a shout out to my past as a choir girl and to some of the activities that Abner and I have been up to lately. The choir reference is to one of the more annoying songs I ever had to sing in choir: There's Magic in the Air (apologies to my mom [a.k.a. AG - Abner's Grandma] who was our choir director and as such was responsible for inflicting this particular ditty on us several years in a row). As for Abner, she's recently discovered the joys of music (which is good since the aforementioned grandmother has been a music teacher since her teens and would likely disown me if I didn't attempt to foster a love of music in Abner).

Abner and I ventured out to our local library twice this week to participate in their Storytime for Babies sessions. If you've ever contemplated going to one of these classes, I certainly encourage you to do it. All the moms and babies (I say moms, but I'm sure dads are welcome as well) sit around in a circle for a half hour of songs, nursery rhymes and stories. What's great about it is you get to learn a bunch of new songs (or the correct lyrics to old songs) and meet a group of fun moms and babies.

Abner was absolutely engaged the whole way through the first time we went. It was so unbelievably cute watching her little face light up as she watched the children's librarian act out the songs and we all got to dance around. She particularly liked the Smooth Road song. The surprise ending had her in stitches. I had to chuckle though when the librarian brought out the Eentsy Weentsy Spider (which has been Abner's favorite song from day one) and I could hear half the other moms whisper to their kids, "Oh! It's your favorite!" What is it about that song?

Anyhow, she liked the music so much the first day, I decided to take her to a second session today and invited AG to join us. As I said above, Abner was absolutely engaged the whole way through...the first time we went. This time...not so much. For whatever reason, Abner kept us up the whole night last night. It was like she was on a timer and every 45 minutes she woke up screaming her head off. Understandably she was a bit dopey today as a result. She still seemed to be enjoying herself and the music, but she fell asleep about half way through. Oh well, it was still a lovely day and she woke up in time to have a little visit with AG while we ate our lunch in the park.

We've also been listening to a lot more music at home and in the car lately. I recently discovered the new CBC Radio 2 and take any opportunity to play it in the car for Abner. During the day it's mostly classical (which is good for babies) and switches to more contemporary music, like K-OS and The Arcade Fire, in the late afternoon (which is good for mommies). At home we've been enjoying a couple of playlists on the old iTunes ... and by enjoying, I mean they've been putting Abner to sleep! Oh how I love my Mellow Tunes and Lullaby playlists. Sigh.

Next week we start our Music and My Baby classes. Now that I see how much Abner likes music, I can't wait for the classes to start.

Projects. They are pilin' up.

TDSH will tell you that I am rather fond of starting, but not necessarily finishing projects. My oldest on-the-go project is a beautiful wool coat that I must have started two or three years ago now. I ran into a problem, dare I say error, on the pattern and have never gotten around to figuring it out and finishing it. Fingers crossed that it will still be reasonably in style by the time it's actually done.

Still in the realm of sewing, I am also working on 1) a small blanket for a new baby who is not that new anymore, 2) a stroller sleeping bag for Abner's B.O.B. stroller, 3) drool bibs for Abner (thanks Miranda!), and 4) assorted dresses for Abner and her friends.

Now that the season has changed to Fall, I've got a hankering to get back to knitting where I currently have a scarf, makeup bag and shawl on the go ... not to mention the various balls of yarn I've picked up over the years thinking, "I don't know what I'll make with this, but it's so gorgeous, I just have to have it." In a moment of superior will power, I managed to talk myself out of buying even more yarn on a recent visit to Michael's.

Side note on my trip to Michael's: In a bid to waste some time and let Abner nap a bit longer in the Ergo Baby carrier, I ventured down the cake decorating aisle and came across some super cute baking tools that would make a fantastic addition to my meal in the mail packages. How cute are these little silicone baking cups?

Other general projects on my list of things to do include 1) reorganizing the spice cupboard (am making progress on this one! picked up 36 shiny new mason jars yesterday. just need to wash them up and break out the label maker), 2) assembling my wedding album (I'm really behind on this one since we got married over four years ago), and 3) doing Abner's hand prints.

All I can say is thank God I haven't gotten into scrapbooking or I'd never leave the house! If anyone would like to come over and babysit while I work on some of these projects, please let me know.

Meals by mail

Who doesn't love getting stuff in the mail? Well, okay, maybe not bills, but letters and packages are always fun -- especially if those packages contain food! Canadian Family magazine just featured a great service for kids that delivers a goody box filled with all the fixings to make a different treat each month. Not only are all the non-perishable ingredients and instructions provided, but each package includes a real cooking tool so your little foodie can start building their very own collection of culinary equipment. I love this idea and plan to create my own kits and send them off to some little people I know in other parts of the country. Bon appetit!

Ready for fall

I got very excited last week on one of my frequent treks through Super Store to check out the Joe Fresh clothing. I mostly look for cheap stuff for Abner, but will admit to getting sidetracked once or twice in the grown up clothing as well. Oh how I love their super cute and extremely stylish clothing for little girls (and it's affordable to boot!). I had to chuckle when I noticed that their infant jeans were listed as "straight leg" cut. Come on. Have these designers ever actually seen an infant before? It is rare that Abner's legs are ever straight long enough for us to admire the straightness of straight leg jeans. The jeans were cute though. Unfortunately, I've discovered that jeans do not work so well with cloth bum so we opt instead for a lot of jersey knit pants.

The new line of fall clothing was out so I picked up a couple of things to get us ready for the changing of the season. I can't wait to see Abner in the tights I bought, though that would require me to actually put her in a dress for once. I also picked up this adorable little toque and made her wear it even though the weather hasn't exactly been fall-like lately.

What's in a nickname?

Nicknames are powerful words and should not be bestowed lightly. Having a nickname can bring you a lifetime of pride - as in THE GREAT ONE (Wayne Gretzky for those of you not in the know) or a lifetime of embarrassment - as in the case of someone I know who has been saddled with the nickname of BOOGER for the past 25 years or so.

I've been thinking about nicknames a lot since Abner's arrival. I'm sure you'll be relieved to note that I did not actually name my beautiful baby girl Abner. It is just one of her many nicknames. On any given day we may refer to her as: Munchie, Abbington, Abster, Abacus, Abbey Yo Yo, Baboo, etc. The Abner name stuck the most ever since an incident at a Feist concert last month (NOTE: The concert was awesome. You have to see her perform live. Preferably outdoors). Here is a transcript of the incident:

STRANGE WOMAN: "Oh! Your little boy is so cute."
MILKYBEER: In my head - Just because she's not dressed in pink doesn't mean she's a boy. Out loud - "Thanks"
STRANGE WOMAN: "How old is your son?"
MILKYBEER: In my head - Oh for Christ's sake...she's a girl!!!! Out loud - "Three months old."
STRANGE WOMAN: "What a sweetheart. Is he a good baby?"
MILKYBEER: In my head - Do I correct her and totally embarrass her at this point? Out loud - "We think so."
STRANGE WOMAN: "What's his name?"
MILKYBEER: In my head - Screw it...I'm going to have some fun. Out loud - "Abner"
STRANGE WOMAN: "Aww...Abner (said all lovey dovey). Pause. Abner?!? (said with whatever the opposite of lovey dovey is)"
MILKYBEER: "It's a family name (said while trying to keep a straight face)"

Anyhow, she walked off pretty quick after that. I was so darned amused with the name, that's it just kind of stuck since then. Which brings me back to the topic of nicknames and the power they hold.

I thought the ever-growing list of nicknames for Abner was all fun and games until I read in my handy dandy baby book (aptly named "The Baby Book") that you're supposed to call your baby by her name as often as possible so that they learn to associate it with themselves. The book claims that by four months, most babies respond consistently to their names. Needless to say, this is not the case with Abner. I think the many nicknames have confused the poor girl.

Hopefully I have not completely stunted my daughter's development at the expense of a couple of good laughs. Perhaps I should hold off on the nicknames until she's a bit older.

Confessions of a terrible mother

The morning started out so well. Abner and I had a lovely walk and playtime as usual this morning. I even had no trouble getting her down for her first nap of the day. Nary a tear was shed and everything was going along so well. Abner was doing her part to make it a perfect morning.

At 10:30 we set out to meet some friends for our second walk of the day. That's when mommy dropped the ball and ruined our perfect morning...

Today is Thursday, so that means it's diaper day. I have an arrangement with our building managers that I generally be home to receive my week's diapers and will only leave the bag out front of the building if I absolutely have to be out that day. Well, as I mentioned, Abner and I had a walk date planned for today, which meant I had to leave the diapers out front as we left the building this morning.

So Abner and I set off with diapers in tow. Let me tell you - opening doors can be a bit tricky while carrying an enormous sack of dirty diapers in one hand and maneuvering a stroller with the other. Knowing this, I pulled Abner up to the front door of our building and stepped outside to deposit my enormous sack of dirty diapers off to the side and out of the way of the door. That's when I lost my grip on the door.

Did I mention Abner was still on the other side of it?

With my keys.

And my cellphone.

Oh, and the building managers weren't home.

Once I stopped laughing my ass off at my own stupidity (to the delight of Abner sitting quite contentedly in her stroller on the other side of the glass), I began trying to flag down anyone in the vicinity for help. It's astounding how few people are out and about on a beautiful Thursday morning. To her credit, Abner didn't fuss at all. In fact, she was quite amused watching mommy waving her arms and yelling into the air trying to get someone...anyone's attention. It took ten minutes before some nice gentleman pulled up the drive and could let me in.

All I can say is that I'm sure I'm not the first person to do something like this. It happens all the time. Lots of people accidentally lock their children inside their buildings. Don't they?

The duck was never the same

One of the big reasons for starting this blog (aside from giving me something to do in my ample down time - I couldn't even write that with a straight face) is to share stories about Abner. She's four months old now and cuter than ever. Her favorite toy of late is a natural rubber ducky that was a gift from friends in Ontario. You'll see from the video below that she absolutely loves it and it's become a regular part of our morning tummy time.



In other Abner news, she survived her four month shots last week. Here are her latest stats for those of you keeping score:

Height: 68cm
Weight: 16 lbs.

She grew a whopping 10cm in two months and is now the height of an average eight-month-old! We're very pleased with how well she's growing, but it does make finding clothes a bit tricky (and the bulky cloth diapers don't help much either).

She's also starting to cut her first tooth (we think) so fussiness is becoming a daily routine around here. It's hard to tell if it's the real thing since she's been drooling like a basset hound for the past couple of months.

TDSH and I have had the joy of regaining our own bedroom again this week. We started putting Abner to bed in her own room last Friday. So far, it's been a bit hit and miss. Some nights are fantastic and others are fraught with trips back and forth to replace the soother than has inevitably popped out. NOTE: if someone has a trick to keep the soother in place, please let me know.

Bad news for Hannah Montana fans

I'll admit it...I've been known to watch a Hannah Montana episode or two. But when TDSH showed me this video, even I had to laugh. The best bit is right at the very end so watch the whole thing.


Entertainment Scientists Warn Miley Cyrus Will Be Depleted by 2013

That bird's a trooper

It's amazing what passes for entertainment when one is on maternity leave. Today's excitement was watching a bird fly smack into one of our windows. Grim, I know. But, also totally amazing. Bird lovers: read no further.

Imagine it...this bird is happily flying along at "flach 1" when out of nowhere, it slams into our less than sparkly clean window (with all due respect to TDSH who handles the window washing around here). It then lay dazed and twitching on our balcony for the next half an hour. The poor thing even left a little bit of blood at the point of impact. We tried not to loom over it so as not to add to what I'm sure were it's already high stress levels. Thankfully, the little guy was able to shake it off and took to the air after a bit of a rest.

Now, imagine this...you're cruising along at top speed in your vehicle of choice when out of nowhere a wall is thrown up in your path. Me thinks you wouldn't be able to shake it off like our friend the bird.

Easily amused...who me?

I'll admit it. It doesn't take much to amuse me. Here are a few things that have tickled my fancy lately:

Seeing myself as a high school student through the ages on Yearbookyourself. Just when you thought you couldn't look any dorkier than your own high school yearbook photo. See what you might have looked like had you gone to school in your parents' era. Shudder the thought.

Prehistoric theme aside, Dinotown is a total blast from the past. Not only are the rides the same as when I visited as a wee one back in the eighties, but they're people-powered to boot! (Could this be the solution to the childhood obesity problem plaguing our nation? I think so!) To enhance the old-school charm, the safety measures are laughable by today's standards. Where else can you ride in pedal cars with no safety equipment where the brake handle is mere centimetres from exposed tires, paddle your own canoe without life vests, or ride in bumper cars with absolutely no staff supervision? Good times.

Getting my new mattress delivered by grown men wearing booties. Thank you Christine Magee, for the mattress ... and the laughs.

Listening to TDSH (The Dear Sweet Husband) butcher the lyrics to childrens' songs. The other day I caught him singing, "Do your balls hang low? Do they wobble to and fro?" to Abner. I really must hook him up with the correct lyrics before he completely warps her mind.

Abner's ...
crazy straight out of the bath hair

first time in sunglasses

attempt to eat her soother (note the bottom lip)

... with a four-month-old, the amusement is endless.